Dazed and Confused

"One who is unable to adjust to one's environment or circumstances or is considered to be disturbingly different from others." is how dictionary.com defines the term 'misfit'. Looks like we all belong to a league of 'misfits'.. a homogeneous set of people who are at odds with the impulses of our times.. are we becoming 'misfits','zombies' and 'monocultures' all at the same time... as for 'misfit'.. i don't think that i need to adjust to environment ( ...and what if the environment is at fault) or i am radically different from a typical youth out there on street.. yet i am different.. different from the normal face in this increasingly faceless crowd.. a 'misfit' yet not a 'MISFIT'.. i think we are a generation of lost souls that may believe that Pepsi is better than Coke or Levi is better than Lee or whatever.. is assertive and appears confident and earns well.. and yet when it comes to decisions that really matter we are found wanting.. A imperfect generation living in imperfect times... I am not sure why i am writing this but over the course of last week there has been three incidents that have again brought the confused nature of our lives...

Exhibit 1: After not so subtle signs that i am unhappy with the state of affairs at my workplace.. my manager called me up... sat down with pen and paper to make a list as to what can be done to improve employee satisfaction ( Boy, again a list .. these lists are deceptive .. they make things look easy when they are not...) he also said that marriage to Aishwary Rai was not on offer ( Wow !!, i love this company.. even Aishwary Rai is negotiable ) ..so how do we go about improving motivation at workplace .. i guess i don't know.. and i don't care anymore.. do i want more money? different work/project? onsite? and i am still clueless.. no damn answers... not sure of what i need or where my priorities lies.. *sigh*.. i guess the problem is choice..

Exhibit 2: Somebody in my extended family had a heart-break (.. i guess it was more than a heart-break, it was a case of broken marriage and broken promises ) ...The tragedy of the situation is nobody is willing to relent.. living on bloated egos and dried-up minds.. it seems everything these days have become so cosmetic.. disposable if you can say that.. decisions that really matter are made on impulses instead of rational thought and decisions that you may regret later.. but you know what.. even if the 'seemingly superficial' wounds heal .. the pain will be felt long time after.. why do we go about making wrong choices.. even when the margin of error in these not-so-normal-times is so small.. *sigh*.. A 'right here.. right now' solution for a 'right here.. right now' problem in the times of 'Make-Believe' will lead you NOWHERE...

Exhibit 3: me on a typical day .. in a typical goverment office for a typical goverment work... and yet the when you came out of the office.. the feeling was not that typical.. i felt being let down by myself.. i had to bribe an official to had some work done.. this was not the first time i had done this... yet the scale and canvas was much bigger this time.. and i don't feel anything great about it.. all my life i held such strong view on corruption.. and yet... i guess i also now belong to the 'sab chalta hai' brigade... *sigh*

~Jimi Hendrix in "All Along The Watchtower"~
"There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief.

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